I'm now free. Free from exams. Free from Hills Road. Free from a huge chuck of my life.
Now I feel I have too much free time.
It's good in some ways. I get up when I want. I learn what I want. I watch what I want. I eat what I want. Which is what I have been waiting for, for two long years. But now that they've come, they feel empty. And when things are empty, I think to much. Then I get paranoid.
GARGH.
Paranoia, for me, is like a disease. It starts small, and if not dealt with quickly, it will then spread and affect my happiness. I drown it out, though, with books, youtube, TV and music. Which makes me feel better. But it's still there, like a cockroach, acting like god and being the superior evolutionary species (something I learned from Heroes)
I feel I'm always missing out on something. And when I ask, it gets ignored, quite blatantly. It hurts. I don't think people realise that. But then I don't think people realise they're making me paranoid either.
This is turning out to be a blog of ramblings. So I'll stop now.
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